Toothaches, Drugs and Freckles
by Fezzes at 221b
Summary: Dean has a toothache, so Sam drags him out to the dentists. Then, a very drugged-up Dean, high on meds, summons Castiel to the bunker and... Well, it gets confusing for Dean, hard for Cas, and downright, freaking hilarious for Sam. Crack. Implied Destiel.
1. Chapter 1

Dean growled from across the room. Sam looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Go to the dentist, if it's bothering you." He said. Usually he would sympathize with his brother but they had been trying to research a thing that was only hunting librarians and firemen, the whole way through, Dean was grimacing and clutching his jaw.

"It's fine." Dean got out through gritted teeth.

"It's all the pie you eat." Sam sniffed. "If you ate healthy stuff, you wouldn't be moaning."

"I'm not moaning." Dean tried massaging his jaw, his eyes narrowed.

"Ugh." Sam stood up and grabbed his coat from the chair next to him.

"C'mon. We're going to the dentist."

"No, Sam. It's okay."

"If you aren't there in five, I will get a crowbar and smash every damn window on your car."

"I'll be right there."


	2. Chapter 2

Dean giggled as he walked back into the bunker. Sam gave him a worried look.

"Are you okay Dean?"

Dean almost cackled.

"I'm fine. Look, Cas. I'm fine, aren't I?" Dean spun on the spot.

"Where's Cas? Cas? Cas? CAS? CASSSSS? CASSSSSSSSSSSSSS?"

"How much drugs did they give you, Dean?"

"I don't knoooow… The doctor moaned a bit and I think I jogged his arm… 'Bout half a bottle? Tub? Container?"

Sam slowly reached for his phone.

He was slightly regretting dragging his brother to the dentist's, where the bearded man had pulled a tooth out, with great sound effects. Dean had put up a fight, so they had compensated with drugs.

Lots and lots of drugs.

Castiel suddenly flashed into the room, eye-to-eye with Dean. His trench coat flapped around his legs.

"Dean? Dean, what is it?"

Dean gasped, Sam looked at him properly, instead of through his phone's camera where he had steadily been filming Dean for future blackmail purposes.

"Your eyes, Cas! OMG, Sam look at Cas' eyes! Aren't they the bluest thing EVERRR?"

"Hahahahah, sure Dean."

"No Sam, look! I can't stop looking!"

Cas, however, was going a beautiful shade of red.

He was regretting zapping in here, Dean was obviously under a curse.

Although, he wasn't complaining. Having Dean this close to him, without threatening him, was awesome.

"Um, Dean are you oka-?"

"OMG, CAS YOUR EYES! ARE YOU AN ANGEL?"

Cas, impossible as it seemed, went a darker scarlet.

"He went to the dentist's, didn't you Dean?" Sam slowly walked around the two, holding his phone carefully.

This was going to be hilarious when he showed un-high Dean.

"Why are you laughing at me, Sam? Is there something on my face?" Dean raced to the nearest mirror, and gasped again, harder.

"Sam! What's on my face?" he clutched at his face, staring into his own eyes.

"Are there a million snipers at me? What the hell are they? Am I going to die?"

Sam was holding desperately onto the doorframe, bent over with laughter. He was laughing so hard no sound was coming out, only painful wheezes.

"No, Dean." Cas had followed them into the room, which seemed to be a boot cupboard.

"They're freckles."

"FRECKLES? You don't have any? Why do I have them?" he seized Cas' face in his calloused, warm hands and turned his head gently to examine every last inch.

Cas' face, which had only just cooled down, went crimson again. He was in danger of spontaneously combusting.

"Am I sick?"

"No, Dean you are drugged up on half a cylinder of meds." Snarked Sam.

Dean began to pull his shirts up and looked at his toned stomach and chest.

"OH MY GOD, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!"

Cas couldn't tear his eyes away, his breath erratic and shallow. His face was verging on the purple side of the spectrum.

"You know what, Dean?" Sam called. Dean looked up, his green eyes slightly hazy.

"Some people say freckles are angel kisses," Cas shot the younger hunter with such a look of despair and mock hatred, he was almost regretted filming. Almost. He zoomed in.

"CAS?! You've kissed me everywhere?"

Cas honestly couldn't breathe what with his 'crush' so close to him and practically shirtless. His trained, warrior brain was short-circuiting.

To his horror, Dean started to cry.

"Why, Cas? Am I not pretty enough to kiss? Do you not want to kiss me or my body?"

Sam also couldn't breathe, but from laughing too hard. He set his phone up in an abandoned mug so it was still filming. He staggered to an armchair and wheezed as he continued to watch his brother and the angel sort it all out.

"Dean-"Cas managed in a strained, strangled voice.

Dean suddenly brightened.

"Where else are they?" he grinned and begun to undo his trousers.

As Sam leapt up to simultaneously catch the angel who had reeled back, blue in eth face and almost unconscious, and his brother who was determined to get naked.

Sam pushed Cas back into a chair, where he focused very hard on his breathing and the current images running through his head of Dean, and ushered Dean out the room, him still complaining and unzipping his pants.

It wasn't helping that Sam, himself, was crying with laughter and he was praising whoever had invented camera phones and pain medication.


	3. Chapter 3

Six hours later, a very groggy Dean woke up.

"Sammy?" he groaned. His overgrown puppy of a brother bounced up by his bed.

"Hey Dean!" he exclaimed in an over-the-top, way-too-late-for-this-morning voice.

"Wha'?"

"Well, you went to the dentists and they decided you needed to have that tooth out, but they accidently gave you too much meds, so you went loopy and called Cas. Then you realised you had freckles, congratulations on that by the way, always knew you were the smarter brother, and started stripping."

Dean moaned.

"You didn't stop me?"

"I tried. Look it's on this video here, see?"

Dean groaned again but even louder.

"AREN'T THEY THE BLUEST THING EVERRRR?!"

The next room over, Cas started blushing again.


End file.
